Negotiator

I live in Bangalore, this statement is enough for anybody to forecast my monthly expenditure. Out of my total income, 1/6th of it goes to house rent, 1/3rd goes on the food (reasonable...taking into account my bad food habits) and lets say another 1/3rd goes on shopping clothes and other daily needs, most of you must have came to conclusion right now that I may be saving 30% of my income.( Frankly speaking I respect those of you who did all the above calculations in mind, I had to open the calculator to get the remainder of the distribution), but you have misunderstood it completely. If there would have been any RFIDs infused on the paper money of this last distribution and if you could monitor them on GPS kind of screen, you won't find them static in the lock room of some bank, they will be found on the streets of bangalore. I know, nothing of the above statement makes any sense. In short and simple way, the Bangalore Autowalas are all eating all my money.

I have been to many big cities, including Pune, Mumbai, Hydrabad, Nagpur but the way autowalas charge in those places seems much decent amount as compared to what happens in bangalore. The people with their own vehicles cry for the petrol prices but they dont know our pain. Atleast their money goes for petrol in their own vehicles. The only way to protect your money from these Dementorous creatures is by improvising a quality within yourself called Negatiation.

Now don't get me wrong but being negotiator is not that easy job. Lets go through the alogorithm of negotiation with the autowala. Remember this is some risky business, the moment you take out your negotiation weapon, so does he. Its like in those sci-fi movies where the villain gets as much power as hero has.

Step 1: Spot him.
This statement looks plain but has many hidden meanings. Your pray is mostly the ones which are going on the same way as you has to go. Mostly avoid the parked autowalas. The only reason they are parked is because they were stubborn with their negotiating terms with previous customers.

Step 2:Hide your needyness
This is very crucial moment, don't show your needyness to the enemy. Ask him casually. It should feel like you are not that desperate to reach the destination. If you miss this chance, he gets the advantage and later it becomes very hard to score the game point. Ask him whether he is free or not? Best practice suggests not to ask for the destination in the first question. This lights up the curiosity in his mind.

Step 3:"Which route SAAB?"
Be careful. This is one of the evaluation question from Autowala point of view. He will ask you that from which route you want to go? The main motive is to know whether the passengers are regular or foreigner to that area? Don't fall for it. Mostly he will give you two options for the route. Take any one with atmost confidence.

Step 4:"Kitna loge?"
Don't just step into the vehicle. If you get in without asking this question, you have lost the battle. Ask him first. There are some crooked autowalas who will counterask, "Aap kitna doge?", but never ever answer it, it his way of judging your negotiation skills.

Step 5:"Are humko kya bahargaon ka samza hai?"
These autowalas (especially bangalorian) will tell you stupidly large amount of money. Just boil up and throw this dialogue. I remember, once I opted auto and asked him to take me to some place 4 and half kms away, he told me 400. I actually liked his frankness, but I was about to say F word to him cause just few months ago, i went from Chennai to my hometown in Rs.396(it was general boggie, terrible journey, lets talk about it later someday). Anyway 400 is such a ridiculous figure for autowala to ask. But remember, this is bangalore. They have no shame.

Step 6: After reaching the destination
So far you have negotiated properly and both of you agreed on some decent figure, you hop in, auto goes on and you are about to reach destination. But this is not the end of war. When you get down, you take out some money and give him a note. He says frantically, "Change nahi hai...", you know you don't have it either. Then he fake-check his pockets. Finally gives you lesser money back and starts auto casually, when you count it, you are shocked and you make him notice about the remaining money, he replies curtly, "Change nahi hai...", same words different ascents and before you know what is happening, auto gets into the smokes of his own exhaust.

You realize that all above cautions are in vain. It was all in the destiny. The RFID trackers moves smoothly over bangalorian roads....

Code Farmers

In the last century, what was the most persuaded job in the world? Farming, yup most of the ambitious people had their own farms, they used to pour all their talent and yield profits along with the crops. Farmers were the driving force of the nations. Coming up to this century, there is no need to highlight the name of the occupation where every ambitious aspirant want to strive into. It is that workforce which is driving the larger part of economies of the countries like India. Those group of people are called Code farmers. You may be tempted to call them software engineers but it is like calling the botanical scientist as a farmer. Most of the people working in software industry are just re-writing the codes. Innovations and practice are extremely different things.

They work in big international IT firms, day and night, just as the farmers used to work into the fields. They work hard over the software development cycle, just the way farmers work along with weather cycles. They work in teams and expect the outcome, sometimes undesirable changes makes their software development waste just the way un-welcomed rain does with crops. Today almost in each next door, there is a software engineer in the family. Terms like code approval, testing, agile methodologies are not only confined to corporate board meetings but have entered the daily chitchats of housewives. Every year, lakhs of graduates are entering into the market and this giant software devil is eating them all without any hunger satisfaction. But the day will come when this devil will be stomuch-full, what will happen to this extremely educated crowd when they become jobless. Anarchy will follow the un-employement. The offbeat downs in the market are the danger alarm for the upcoming hard times. What could be done to solve this issue? Engineering is the youngest branch of science and computer technology is the youngest branch of engineering. Unlike other core fields, there are many new ideas, concepts, technologies, theories yet to be discovered and explored. The innovative approach towards technology will lead to more and more opportunities for this nuclear mob of young talent. Let us make this century, the biggest milestone of human progression.

Entangled

You are sitting in front of your laptop and suddenly the urge rises in your mind, to listen to a song. The desperation surprises yourself, but before you could understand the intensity of that urge, you find yourself searching the headphones. You think for the moment that for all these times, these were laying in front of me then what was in the fraction of that moment which changed everything and now you put them on hurriedly. You start the song and plug them in. Before you could respond to the melodious voices and rhythmic music, you see the wires of headphone are all entangled. You want to enjoy the song but your mind tells you to clean up the wire mess. You pick up the intertwined dump of wires and try to clean up the knots. For the first minute, you try feverishly, in the back of your mind you realize that the song is going on and you are missing all the beautiful pieces of music. Still you concentrate hard on the knots. Suddenly you realize your temples are wet. Am I sweating? You ask yourself startled. You know that you are tensed, but you can not grasp the notion that few knots are making you tense. Then you realize that its not the wire knots, its all about your life. You think your life has many such aspects which you need to work on. The more you try to work out things, more complex they become. A simple, trivial thing suddenly takes shape of giant trouble. The entangled knots seems to clench your throat invisibly and you struggle for the breathe. The more you force, more tightens the grip.

All you need is to take a deep breathe and search for the endpoints of the headphones. Same applies to life. Rather than smashing here and there, you need to get to the root of the problem and improvise your decisions. If you work out things one by one, there comes time when you achieve a skill, at that time, how much ever may the wires be entangled, you will never fail to open it. Eventually, we need to understand one thing, life is full of opportunities, rather than feeling sorry for the lost opportunities if you take care of oncoming ones, you will find yourself humming to melodious music of optimism. After all, if you miss the song, you can always play it back. 

Redemption

I have done many bad things in my life knowingly or unknowingly. I may have hurt many people without intentions. But as Gita said, there is always chance for redemption. I felt the urge to punish myself to understand the pain of others. I remembered the way mentioned in the ancient christian organization called Opus Dei. The believers used to crucify their body with the knifes or other lethal instruments in order to clean up their sins and ask for forgiveness to the almighty. But I choose the most dangerous and perilous punishment for me, I decided to watch Ra.One.

Within first 10 minutes, I almost fainted. My roommate misunderstood it thinking I may have slept, but I reached deep levels of unconsciousness. Next day I again started from the point where I left. But I guess my body and mind was not strong enough to sustain the pain. Finally on 3rd day I completed the movie. The movie starts with some lame actress explaining the impossible technology in very crude way using jargon words like waves, virtualization etc. What made ShahRukh khan to create the South Indian character with curly hairs. It was a total mismatch. His lame repetitive jokes with ayyo as prefix or postfix were pathetic. Shah rukh giving lip-sing to Akon's voice was a perfect mismatch. Out of nowhere, the lights on mainframe servers starts blinking when everybody is enjoying in the party. 'Something evil is taking shape meanwhile when nobody has any clue', is typical bollywood script writing. Ra.One taking Takashi's form and that Chinese guy walking through the public with devil eyes are perfect cinematographical copies from movies like Matrix, Resident Evil. The train chase sequence ended with the copies from Speed and Spiderman. Whole CST station showed to be collapsed for no good reason. And the pathetic ending where a 12 years boy reincarnates the G.one using high end technology with home desktop. Ohh..I forgot Arjun Rampal was also there in the movie na?? He may have thought the whole shooting as some modelling competition as he could flex muscules all over his body but could not move a single muscule on face to give some expression. I thank the script writers of Ra.one to end movie when G.one reborns, because the Marriage of Kareena with Shahrukh would have reached the digestive limits of even typical bollywood watchers and rather than normal people, zombies would have come out of cinema halls.

There were movies like Tashan and Chandni Chowk to China, but no one can ever replace Ra.one. This movie will also have special place in my heart (called crap) and my hard disk (called non-recoverable permanently deleted data)

A talented writer with Mediocre writing

Some 6-7 years ago, one book came into market, named Five point Someone and it created a wave of passion of reading in Young Indian Crowd. It was written by an IIT graduate and IIM passout. All the Engineering students felt that story, a story of their life. I too liked it, not only because it resembled our life but the whole narration was very appealing and intriguing. Writer Chetan bhagat was accoladed for pioneering this writting style in Indian Literature. Then came his second book, 'One night at call centre'. Many people felt disappointed after reading it. But he was becoming mature with his writing skills. There were some similarities with the script but it felt mere coincidence. Then came his third book, 'three mistakes of my life' which was in real life, his first mistake. It clearly portrayed his script repetition. The mediocre guy being our hero has many problems with his life, which he tries to resolve and fails. In this depressed situation, he finds the love of his life and things start changing, he starts enjoying life and bamm...he makes out with girl...?? for no good reason..but chetan has something in his mind, reader neglects this illogical turn of events. And finally this hero of story realizes that how much deep shit he is into...(so does the reader) and some typical melodrama happens and this narration pauses, we come back to reality when this hero of ours is telling his dukhbhari dastan to real chetan bhagat. Then Bhagatji proclaims the ingenious and innocence of hero telling him you did what was right at that time, and on the note of happy ending the novel ends.

With each passing novel, he is disappointing his readers. Because there is repetition of concept, repetition of writting style and moreover I felt he stopped writing for the sake of making novel. He seems to write some story which would feel appealing to some bollywood director/producer to make film on it. All the bollywood masala he tries to stuff in his story messes up everything. The dispute of rights on story during Three Idiots made his image to be more desperate for public recognition. After being full time writer, expectation from him increased many folds as many Indian readers were keeping eye on his upcoming ventures. His latest book Revolution 2020 disappointed me the most. It has no proper plot, story has two protagonists but one is emphasised over other. Complication of a girl is dragged for no good reason. Anyways I am not saying he is bad writer. He definitely is good writer, he has written some very good columns indeed and a guy who has been through best indian institutes of technology and management is no doubt smart. Expectation is weird thing, once it starts you have to keep up with it otherwise it ruins you.

Agnipath

After a long time I guess, from the point when I started understanding films, today was the first time I went for the movie on first day, first show. It was Karan Johar Production. So, I was slightly nervous about its ingenuity. It was directed by Karan Malhotra, whose previous record is quite good, as he has been assistant director for movies like Lakshya, Main Hoon Na and Pukaar. But still full action movie coming from Johar camp is something that we do not look forward to. But this movie is surprisingly smart and good. The dual between Sanjay Dutt and Hritik Roshan have once again created the same aura as they created once in Mission Kashmir. Lets talk one by one about cast and crew. I would start with the villain. Sanjay Dutt have awesomely portrayed the Dark Devil. His hairless appearance adds cruelity and whimsical attitude to his character. When he calls himself the Ravan of Lanka, he means it. The way in which he walks and talks is just perfect to his role. Anyway, the Villainish laughter which he delivers is not the typical lame laughter which a mediocre bollywood villian puts in every movie. Now comes the Hritik Roshan, frankly speaking Hritik has stunned me by his performance. Very few movies including Mission Kashmir and Lakshya and this one, script has given him the chance to show his real acting skills rather than just muscules. The emotional turmoil to kill the bad guy did not only bulge through his muscules but also through his expressions. Hritik's acting skills are more matured and fine tuned. The most important part is played by the music directors Ajay Atul who had monopolized Marathi film industry and now ready to compete for being promising music director in bollywood. There may not be song in movie which you will keep humming for many days. But the background music played during the movie has fantastic effect. Whether it be the emotional scenes when Vijay Dinanath Chauhan first meets her sister or the Ganesh Visarjan scenes. Priyanka Chopra did a fare job with her character, loving Vijay unconditionally. So was the Rauf Lala portrayed by Rushi Kapoor. Now comes the most important and prominent feature of the movie. Cinematography and picturization. The grimacing look of Kancha's house. The dark atomsphere of his territory Mandwa surrounded by the splashing oceanic waves. The sadistic sequence of hanging Master Dinanath Chauhan creates sharp and abstract scenes. Stunts in the movies are very good, thanks to Hritik.

Overall this film may be the typical story of revenge of father's death, but it still maintains its individuality. For some people, the violence and bloodshed shown may look excessive but it clearly justifies the demand of script. The lyrics of the poem Agnipath reflects the excellence and wisdom of Harivanshray Bacchan which Karan Malhotra tries to feature in his movie pays homage to this talented Poet. I hope the movie walks successfully through the Agnipath of Box Office Recognition.
(P.S. : The background sound effects can create the magical effect only on Big Screen. Don't watch it on laptop, or you may get disappointed. If not anything other, Chikni Chameli could be enjoyed on big screen better than on small screen. :P )

शिव्या

"अरे असा संयम सोडून का बोलतोय?", माझा एक पांढरपेशी पुणेरी मित्र माझी समजूत काढत होता. "त्या ल*** माज चढला आहे, बापाचा रस्ता समजतो का ****?", मी संयमच काय पण लाज सोडून ओरडत होता. काही लोक bikes आल्या की पायी चालणाऱ्या लोकांना भलतच तुच्छ समजतात. माझ्या बाजूने एक bike अक्षरशः मला चाटून गेली होती. मी माझा राग माझ्या मित्रावर काढायचं ठरवलं. पण शांत होऊन तोच मला समजवायला लागला. "शिव्या म्हणजे भाषिक हतबलतेची निशाणी आहे." अबे ***, मी मनात म्हणालो. "तुम्ही सोज्वळतेचा भाव आणणारे लोक शिव्यांना अगदीच खालच्या दर्ज्याचे समजतात. पण खर सांगायचा तर उग्र भावना प्रकट करायला शिव्या सर्वात जास्त कामात येतात. तुला जेव्हा खूप राग येईल न तेव्हा कळेल." "पण तृतीय पुरुषी व्यक्तींना संबोधून समोरच्याचा उद्धार करण्यात काय अर्थ आहे?" "तो तृतीय पुरुषी किंवा तृतीय स्त्रीयी उल्लेख हा काही सदैव अर्थार्थी घ्यायचा नसतो, माझा एक मित्र जेव्हा प्रचंड खूष असतो तेव्हा तो जो दिसेल त्याला शिव्या देत सुटतो. पण त्या वेळी शिव्यांचा भाव काही वेगळाच असतो. जर कोणी भयंकर tension मध्ये असतो तेव्हा पण तो शारीरिक अवयवांचा उल्लेख करून त्याची भावनिक परिस्तिथी सांगत असतो.", तुझ्या सारख्या लोकांना अश्या छापील व्याख्याच देलेल्या बऱ्या, मी मनात म्हणालो. "अरे पण असा अभद्र भाषाप्रचार केला तर भाषेची उन्नती कशी होईल? अश्याने समाज रसातळाला जाईल.", माझा मित्र सुसाट बोलत सुटला. च्यायला मी groupdiscussions मध्ये कधीच जिंकत नाही पण याचा अर्थ  माझ्या बोलण्यात तथ्य नाही असा नाही. तितक्यात एक pulsar माझ्या मित्राला धक्का देऊन गेली, तो तोल जावून खाली पडला. मी त्याला उचलायला गेलो तेव्हा तो ओरडला ," कुत्र्या, तुझ्या मायची टांग" मी हसत सुटलो. कारण शेवटी पांढरपेशी शर्टावर काळे ठिपके उमटताच.

Romantic Tragedy II

In the middle of the night, Rohit was sitting on the chair staring at the table lamp. Suddenly he realized the time in the table clock, it was 1 am. His body was tired but he did not want to sleep unless he takes the decision. After Dhruv storming out of his room, Rohit was left with an unpleasant guilt for his deeds. How different things look when somebody gives you the different perspective, he thought. He did not want to win the competition by hurting the girl. He was surprised by his own priority. After so much of thought, he collapsed on the bed and surrendered to sleep.

It was a shinning and sunny day. Rohit woke up with extra zeal than usual. Everything around him was giving him positive vibes. He bathed and dressed up for the college. He could find himself smiling and whistling. As usual he went to the college canteen and waited for Pranjali. There sitting on the table, he felt sudden urge to see Pranjali. He knew he was 10 minutes early but he could not help but stare at the crowd approaching from the entrance. With each passing group, he felt his patience being tested. But then he saw her, it was like a cool breeze of air suddenly striking him on the face. He stared at her, it was just like the photoshop effect, all surroundings blurred but her face. She was giving smile to her friends and waving at them. His restlessness increased many folds. Then her gaze turned, he thought she will notice him but she waived in other direction. His desperation reached the pinnacle. He stood up from the chair. And then the moment came, she saw him, the emotion of affection filled her smile and Rohit missed a heartbeat. It was the sudden realization to him, yet it was strongest one he ever felt. He had fallen finally. The cool breeze was turning from comforting level to chilling level and suddenly he woke up. It was 4 am in the morning. The wind was howling through the window, he got up and closed it. Sitting on the bed, he saw Abdul Kalam's book, he smiled to himself and got into bed, the book read, "Make your dreams come true" 


Next day morning, he hurried himself through all daily chores and reached the college, but before he could go to canteen, he saw Dhruv coming outside. There eyes met but even though they did not speak, Rohit realized it. Dhruv approached and said, "Sorry, I had to tell her. I care for her feelings." Rohit realized the damage done, he wanted to say something but there was no point scolding, he started running towards the canteen. As he reached canteen, he started looking for Pranjali, it was the same restlessness which he experienced in the dream, but this time it was followed by sinister terror. He found her sitting on the chair, staring at him. But there was no glow in her eyes neither was there any hint of recognition. First time he found someone's gaze so burdening. He reached the table but before he could sit down, she got up from the table. "I won't forgive you ever.", and she left him there, hopeless and timid. Even at this heartbreaking moment, he realized the meaning of Karma. The thing you do reflects back to you. That was the spiritual interpretation of Newton's Third Law. He did not feel anger towards Dhruv. There was just despair and helplessness. He messaged her about everything he planned, tolstoy approach and how he was about to tell her today. For the whole day, he kept checking his cellphone, but she never replied. He did not want to tell Dhruv because he knew Dhruv will feel guilty about his bad timing. In the evening, when he was returning from college, he realized that whole world was becoming back and white, all colours and emotions fading. His favourite canteen spot looked so deserted even in the middle of the crowd. He soothed himself, you will pass this depression.

Pranjali was standing on the edge of the cliff and Rohit was standing some 10 Fts away from her. She was facing him. The howling wind was messing with their hairs. "You should not have lied to me. You broke my heart. I trusted you blindly." "Pranjali, I know. I realised my mistake. I should have told you." "I don't want to hear this language of would have and could have. May be the real thing is you never had courage to tell me that you used me, just like you use some tool and someday you will throw me when I become useless", and she broke. Seeing her crying, the guilt in his heart increased so much that he could not breath and he realized he is also crying. "You just get away from the cliff", he warned her. But she was not listening, "Nothing will be the same between us....ever" and she jumped from the cliff. He woke up in the middle of the night. It was dream, no, it was nightmare. But he did not wake up screaming. He just realized some part in his heart died after the dream when he heard the word 'ever'. He sat on the bed trying to console himself that it was dream but he knew how symbolic the dream was. Even in the chilling winter night, he swept the sweat on his forehead.


10 Months later.....
Rohit, Dhruv and Pranjali were sitting on their favourite canteen table. Rohit and Pranjali were teasing Dhruv by some weird girl. They were all laughing and hi-fi-ing. 10 months before that Rohit broke with his girl friend, Pranjali. He went deep into depression and finally one day broke in front of Dhruv. After listening to everything, Dhruv went to Pranjali and told her all the truths and lies. He begged her to forgive his best friend. When they met finally, Pranjali found Rohit totally collapsed emotionally. His eyes went deep in his face. There were dark circle below his eyes, which were proofs of the sleepless nights he went through. She knew that he had got enough punishment. She forgave him and they all become close friends once again. Today they were sitting in canteen, Dhruv was reading the Reader's digest ignoring all the teasing. There was a graffiti competition in Reader's digest, contestants were supposed to submit one liners. In this edition, they mentioned the winners, amongst them he found the name Rohit Gupta, he gave one glance towards both laughing faces of Rohit and Pranjali and read,
This may not be the best moment of life but it was much better than the worst.